This is the holiday season and, for many it is a time filled
with special memories of childhood. For parents, it is the time of memory making by living into genuine warmth,
forgiveness and acceptance. Many people
decorate, shop for special gifts to express fondness for friends and
family. I believe that it is important
to have a festival time to mark the years and to lift spirits beyond the turmoil, heartache and disappointment that can occasion life.
However, we must remember that this holiday is also one of
the most emotionally devastating for some among us. The pressure to conform to the holly jolly
program can be so stressful that it leads to illness and depression. Not
everyone has warm-fuzzy parents or sugar-plum memories of holidays past. It is
also a time when the pressure to buy leads to increased callousness in stores
with shoppers and shopkeepers alike harried by the demand of the increased
volume of customers and competition to purchase the latest “hot thing.” It reminds me of a caption under a Snoopy
comic strip scene, are we having fun yet?
I am not even sure if we know the answer to this
question. Yes, fun is associated with entertainment,
excitement, and pleasure—to be certain much of this is going on in this
season. However, we are very caught
up in the blitz of tinsel and glamour; it makes me wonder how much of this is
truly joyous? I am not trying to be a
party pooper, I simply wish to inspire us to search ourselves and be more
mindful of the atmosphere we set in our homes.
The gifts ought not all be wrapped in boxes under the tree. It might be wise to offer experiences for our
family and friends to share later in the year, tasks around the home, shared
volunteer work at a local agency, a commitment to eat dinner together more
regularly, visiting a local exhibit, attend festival or worship service of the
season or some other activity not directly associated with Santa and the mall.
As one who works with adolescents, I am concerned about the
heightened association of acquisition with self-worth and how this can
adversely impact social interaction among teens. For them there is a very fine
line between having fun and being ridiculed for having/being less than the “norm.” You
can walk into almost any classroom, social hall or school cafeteria and witness
the incisive pendulum swing between fun and ridicule with emotional scars and
bolstered egos scattered from one corner of the room to the next. The
other side of the fun question is boredom—the countless numbers of youth who
have no expressive or intellectual link to this season at home or in their
neighborhood and for many they can be in the midst of the brightest display of
the season and feel completely unconnected. These are young people who may always be
asking, are we having fun yet?
Many of our
youngsters in New York City are facing decisions about the next phase of their lives
beyond high school; some struggle just to get through each day. My hope is that they hear words of acceptance
and feel valued for who they are regardless of their circumstance. I want to anticipate helping hands, patience
and encouragement as part of the gifts they receive in this season and all year.
Let us not be blinded by the usual trappings; let us
remember that the heart of this season is compassion and care for humanity. This holiday is not a trip to the amusement park.
